On and Off

(photo credits: postsecret )

A lot of people around me are getting in and out of relationships with their exes. I've always hated the back and forth of on and off relationships. It seems so avoidable, so childish. I have an amazing ex-boyfriend. I'm torn when I think of him, all the time. We've been broken up for 3 months now, going on 4. That's such a short time; That's such a long time. Our relationship has its own back and forths, it's a roller coaster of emotions. I know we had an alright relationship, a big part of me believes if we tried again it truly would be better. Yet something still holds me back. Why does it seem that everyone else can't resist? Why am I capable? Is it a flaw or a blessing? I truly wish I understood.