Toning down the melodrama.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it was, and the future less resolved than it will be".
Marcel Pagnol


Dare I say it again, I'm turning over a new leaf.

Late Night Thoughts: Ruminating Edition.

This darkness, i could never show. I don't know how i got here and there's nothing i want more than to get out. I know what i've got to do, but my will power is gone. It's been gone for a while now. It's as if cosmic forces are actually working against me. I want time to stop and fast forward all at once. Ugh.

Dead Ends

So, here are some questions that haven't really found their answers yet. Why do I repeat the mistakes I keep telling myself I've already learned? Why do we push away the people who care the most? Why is it so hard to remove yourself from something youre emotionally invested in, just for a moment? Why does it seem like nobody and everybody wants you all at the same time? Why is it when you need someone, no one is ever there? What happens if our naivety never dissipates? What's the difference between naivety and genuine optimism? Who benefits from my failures? How do I turn my brain off?

Here We Go.

I'm coming back; I hope the wait was bearable. On the bright side, I think my posts will be full of newly earned wisdom.

Hands down.

Lykke Li and Drake - Little Bit Remix; aaa-mazing.

La vie en Rose.

This could tell so many interesting stories.

Strength.

"Although I cried through much of the first session, Jim remained calm and at the end offered some hope. First, he asked me the question, "What holds you together?""

What holds me together? Really, what is it? I've gotten this far somehow. Sometimes I think it's being so lost in myself that's pulled me through, but that cant be the only thing. I suppose hope, promise. Some dumb predisposed ability to withstand a lot of beatings and somehow still come out eager for the next big lesson.

There seems to be no other viable option. I want to know how the story ends, so I've got to tough it out.